Saturday, September 29, 2007

Ex-scientist

this rough magic
I here abjure; ...I'll break my staff,
Bury it certain fathoms in the earth,
And deeper than did ever plummet sound
I'll drown my book.


So as of today I am an ex-physicist. I went into the lab for the last time to hand in my dosimeter and my badge. (The sweet receptionist asked if I was quitting physics to become a model. Now, people with family resemblances or ulterior motives will go so far as to say that, in dim light and with selective camera angles, I'm passable, so this is a bit of a surprise. She herself is quite lovely and is always very carefully dressed and made-up, so I wonder if her suggestion reflects her own secret desire?) It feels good to finally be able to let go of this part of my life. I'm sad that people won't say "wow" when I tell them what I do--"nuclear astrophysicist" is a very cool job title--and I'm still feeling apprehensive about having people laugh when I tell them that I'm working at Starbucks--but this is what my life is like right now. This is what I'm doing for myself. I'm not doing work that makes me miserable. I'm asserting that I don't have to be extraordinary in order to have the right to exist. I'm just doing an ordinary job, living an ordinary life--and that will be enough.

I got a right
I got a right
I got a right, Lord, to the tree of life.

3 comments:

MomLes said...

Yes.

Laura said...

Wow, you weren't kidding about the Starbucks thing? I thought maybe it was an inside joke for Facebook. I say right on, I definitely know where you are coming from. It is very nice to have a job that doesn't consume you. I hope they treat you well.

Daniel Quinn said...

You don't know me as I've stumbled upon your blog by way of OKC, but I just wanted to drop you a line to say that your blog is a joy to read -- mostly 'cause it's fun and it brightened my day (well evening at this point).

Regarding this post specifically though, as a stranger who knows nothing more about your situation than is written here, it seems to me that you're doing the right thing. You've got one life and there's no sense in burning it up doing something that makes you unhappy so long as you've got options. Admittedly, Starbucks isn't glamorous, but it's making you happy, it's already a step up :-)

Good luck in everything you do... might you even consider taking up professional writing?