Friday, March 31, 2006
Input?
Okay, so there's A Situation at the centre where I'm living. I've gotten a biased third-hand account of it, so the only thing I'm sure of is that I don't know the whole story. I don't think there's any point in going through the details here, but I'd like to know, those of you who have experience in living and working in spiritual communities (Mom and Shugetsu, this means you)--how do you preserve the authority of teachers without giving them a licence for emotional abuse? The situation here involves someone being told by someone in a position of power that telling her side of the situation would be divisive speech, which the Buddha prohibits. That strikes me as manipulative bullshit. So I ask: how do you balance authority with accountability, faith with mutual respect? How do healthy communities work?
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2 comments:
I was going to say there's no such thing as a healthy community, but that's probably not so. When communities don't work it's because somebody is taking power for themselves through illegitimate means. I'm sure the Buddha disapproves; I know Christ does - but that doesn't stop good Buddhists or Christians from doing it. It's tempting to get involved, make a scene, etc., but probably the best thing is just to support the victim of the abuse with quiet presence and reassurance so they can resist the abuse in a gentle and peaceful way, grounded in the knowledge that they are too good people.
Creating division in the Sangha is one of the big offenses, up there with (but subordinate to) things like killing your parents; the penalty for these sorts of offenses is being cast out from the community. If you really love the dharma and cherish the opportunity to practice, being cast out would be quite a punishment; if you're trying to get away from a degrading and manipulative situation, leaving might be just the thing!
"Creating division in the sangha" is usually taken to mean spreading sensational and untrue rumors; it's a major offense because such allegations can blow a community apart.
If the allegations are actually true, they should blow the community apart. If it has a strong enough foundation, it will re-form, presumably in a healthier way, as happened at San Francisco Zen Center, my alma mater. (Shoes Outside the Door details this with a minimal, but entertaining, degree of insight.)
The Buddha's standard for speech is something like: is it true? is it kind? is it timely? is it helpful? (and perhaps one other criterion I forget). Shooting your mouth off is pretty impossible under such rules.
Under these guidelines (as well as the standards of common decency) speaking one's truth about misconduct within the system is necessary. To whom, and how, the truth should be spoken, is another matter.
In my latest community, a nonprofit religious organization, there is Board of Directors that is responsible for unresolved community issues; the teachers consult with the Board when big stuff comes along, as it inevitably does. There is also a grievance committee and a number of individuals who are supposed to be available to hear concerns that one might be afraid to take directly to the teachers.
In general, when a point is being made using the template, "I know this seems unfair and wrong, but there's a rule we have in Our Religion that says X," you can be pretty sure the rule is being twisted. Or that the authority figure making the statement is in *way* over her/his head.
Not all allegations of abuse actually reflect abuse. Life in a spiritual community life is intentionally intense; people who come to these centers often bring significant psychological baggage along; and it is normal to have people get a little loopy around the edges. Authority figures in spiritual communities are the targets of huge amounts of projection.
To those who know a situation, it can be very clear that someone's issues are coming up, and that they're projecting wildly. That doesn't mean that the person should be belittled or ignored—in fact, they need to feel heard, and they need to find some satisfaction.
If the community leaders can't help them feel heard, and the outside grievance body can't help them find satisfaction, the person usually leaves. Having formal channels in place is invaluable. Leaving the issue to gossip (speculation, melodrama, and misinformation) in the back hallways is actually what weakens the sangha.
Having pontificated thus, I'm curious: does your community have a grievance procedure? Let me know; this is where a lot of the juice of practice lies (fear, secrets, authority, shame, etc, etc)
Wishing you well,
Shu
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