If your sugar daddy is taking you to the Hamptons this summer

...then you will want to get your underwear from Toot. If you're a seventeen-year-old Man-Vixen, that is.

There are many things to like about this site.

1. somewhat disturbing icons, including a teddy bear to indicate "snug fit"
2. extensive use of camel toe
3. Engrish translations of product blurbs. My favourites:

"Natural cotton stitch makes you feel pleasant."

"With improvement, innovated jock straps are back with 12 color variations."

"Please try this item with color-linking and full of originality. The completeness is quite high."

"Limited items for black tencel, pile processed, painted piece by piece, The two patterns would not be same. Please enjoy the dynamic expression and white hue." (well, okay, since you ask so nicely)

"The material of inside leg is mesh. The cup design protects your anxiety. sporty, sexy and ventilationa are excellent." (But I don't want my anxiety protected!)

"The hue of beige and blend is basie of TOOT. The color combination of waist and legth is so cute. "

"There are not too many left comparing with other items, only for membership holder. Oatmeal and red number show the confidencce of TOOT!"

"The number is 1,2, 3. With different color and diagonal way create demensional shade in original font."

"The best of TOOT! You'll want to experience the feel! The cut is small but you won't feel squashed in. This fine fabric is flexible, very natural, and the gauze stretch has a very pleasant feeling. "

"It is made with thin denim, full-flat of jean type. The stretch works perfectly.So simple, So cool!"(Oh good. I hate that non-functional stretch)

"One of Flat-type boxer. Botton taping in the frontal part,design creates sporty. Long time using will feel it's tasty. Hook under the taping, (Convenience?) . It was made shallowlly than any other Microboxer items, Much more Sexy!!"

"Sturdy denim stretch swim wear with expertise design. All 5 pockets are riveted, decorative loop stopper, side piping -Too much you say? But that's TOOT style for you."

"The stretch is perfect with marcerization material. Through it was made by cotton, but it is so elegant. Low-rise design." (Through it was made...sounds almost theological)

"Basic, *white underwear*, express the truth of TOOT.The material is tencel, more comfort! "

"The style of texture is gorgeous. It may not use for active sport supporter. Y-back, truth of TOOT was made."

"Just think about TOOT when You want to purchase pants." (Okay. I'm having the urge to purchase pants, but instead I'll think about TOOT. ... kinda like baseball statistics.)

"Our sizes are 3 sizes : S/M/L, but we must point out that "Size" have implied meanings, illusions and miracles." (it's so true.)